Okay, I just had to post this recent photo of my daughter.

I recently tried to fit one of her newborn socks on her feet out of curiosity. I cannot believe how much she's grown since March! Her foot almost completely fills the sock, rise and all. Kids grow so fast.

Here in India, because many people cannot afford cars, the preferred method of transport for the middle and lower-middle class are scooters and motorcycles. It's really amazing--and scary--to watch how people get around on their two-wheelers here. I've seen families of 4 and even 5 ride on a single 2-wheeler (usually a scooter). Dad will be driving in front, mom will be behind him, sitting side-saddle and carrying a baby with one arm as she hangs on with the other, and in front of dad stands the older child. I often wonder what would happen if they get into an accident, especially when few people wear helmets here.

Pictured below is my husband arriving home from the market with his almost-3-year-old nephew standing in the front. I've made it quite clear that he won't be doing that with our daughter.

Our computer is working again! Whew! But now we have another issue--wee one is a bit ill. Nothing serious, but it's keeping us busy. Lots and lots of diaper changes are involved. I'll post as often as I can, but please bear with me.

--Rochelle

I've been absent from my weblog for quite a while because, alas, our computer crashed over a month ago. Around the same time, our maids decided to leave, and it's been tough finding new ones, so I've been busy around the house as well. Add those to a wee baby, and little time is left to go to the Internet Cafe. We haven't been able to replace the computer yet due to personal reasons, but hopefully that will be remedied in the next week or two.

I must say that Westerners (or at least Americans) don't realize how pampered they are. I didn't until moving to India. Boy, how I long for a good clothes washer and dryer, and a good dishwasher! Not to mention reliable power, 24 hour (good) water supply, central water heating, central A/C....

Oy!

Hope to see y'all soon!

Since I'm posting about the recent wedding, below is a photo of us (I and Sharan) with the lovely bride, Suraj's cousin, Meena:



Here is a photo of Sharan taken while sitting with the bride. We've seen her smiling for the past couple of weeks, but this is the first time we've been able to catch it on photo:



To see more photos from the family wedding, just follow this link:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fiercetigress/sets/72157600158906680/

While at last weekend's wedding (first mentioned in my post below), I met my husband's nani (maternal grandmother). Before even being introduced, and in the half-light of dusk, I could tell immediately who she was. The resemblance between her and her daughter (my mother-in-law) is very strong, which I rarely see. Although she doesn't speak any English (and I still know only a smattering of Hindi and Punjabi), she was plainly a friendly, confident woman. She also enjoyed holding her new great-grandchildren, Sharan and her second cousin, Ishmeet. Below is a photo of Sharan with her great-grandmother:



Here is a photo of Sharan with her dadi (paternal grandmother):



The resemblance is strongest in the eyes, but generally there is a close resemblance. Their personalities are also quite similar: friendly, caring, and hard-working.

When Suraj and I were married last year, we had ourselves photographed with Suraj's younger nephew, Sonu. My two sisters-in-law (his sister and brother's wife) commented that we were a "ready-made family." Below is the photo taken:



Last Sunday we went to a village called Hoshiarpur for the wedding of one of his cousins, Meena. We were wearing our wedding outfits (in India, it's common, in fact, considered auspicious, so wear your wedding outfit at family weddings), so we had ourselves photographed with Sharan:



We went from a ready-made family to a home-made family! (-:

Here are some photographs of a recent procession that went through Mohali, the Guru Granth Sahib Chetna Yatra, which is the celebration of 300 years since the compilation of the Sikh holy book, the Guru Granth Sahib Ji, 300 years ago. This originated at Gurudwara Thakt Hajedoor Sahib/Nandir Sahib in Maharashtra, about 2,000 kilometers away, and daily makes its way around northern India and will eventually end in Amritsar at the Golden Temple. On this day it was leaving Gurudwara Amb Sahib and heading for another historical gurudwara 60 kilometers away. The two photographs below are of a father and son in the procession:





Below is a photo of shastars (weapons) used by the 10th guru, Guru Gobind Singh Ji:



Go to my Flickr web site to view more photos from the procession, which are in the Sikhi set. All of the photos were taken by my husband.

I must say, now after having had my own baby, I find myself learning a lot more about seemingly-banal things such as breastfeeding, breastmilk, and diapers than I ever thought I would. One would assume that breastfeeding is such a natural thing that it would happen automatically and easily. Not in my case, so I've been searching for information at La Leche League and Dr. Jack Newman's site, as well as contacting some people.

The reason for the obsession with diapers is because, here in India, cloth diapers are heavily preferred, as people believe that disposable diapers are bad for babies and are not to be used, except occasionally when good absorbancy is needed (such as for travelling and for functions). I don't mind that, except that the diapers available here stink. They absorb very little, and there are no covers, so there is always a leakage when the baby wets herself. By "leakage," I mean the urine runs out over everything, so not only do we need to change the diaper, but also her pants. We also have to change her blanket daily or every other day for washing, as it gets all over the blanket, too. I was told that during the summer they wrap the babies only in towels, and don't bother using diapers, so that only the towel needs washing. They are also ill-fitting, so when she poops, it runs out of the diaper and gets all over her legs. What a stinky system! In case you're wondering, below a couple of photos of a couple of the diaper styles we're using:





The diaper at the top is the worst of the bunch we have, and the one at the bottom is the best, although it's made for a 1-year-old not an infant. But at least with the bottom diaper, I can add extra cotton fabric on top and make it a bit more absorbant for overnight use, although it still leaks.

Because of this, I'm on the hunt for some American cloth diapers that will absorb urine better without leaking, and also contain her messes. Having read reviews at a website designed specifically for showing customer reviews of cloth diapers (link is in the first paragraph,) I've found some brands that have received high ratings and am planning to order them soon. What a relief it will be! Yes, they will be many times more expensive than the Indian diapers, but it'll be sooooo nice not to have urine running over my lap, or have to clean sharan's entire lower body every time she soils herself, not to mention having less daily laundry.

Speaking of Sharan, below is a recent photograph of her with her papa:



We still have not tired of photographing her.

It's been sooooo long since I posted here last. I wonder if anyone is even checking out my weblog anymore, or if everyone has long given up, assuming I've been lost in India somewhere. Due to a busy home life and a lack of internet connection up until two weeks ago has made it nearly impossible to post entries on the weblog. In-laws staying with us, father-in-law having triple-bypass surgery, a new baby. Oof!

Speaking of new babies, I popped out a sweet little girl on January 21st at 9:30am. She weighed only 3 kilograms (about 6 pounds, 9 ounces) at birth, but aside from a hemotoma on her head from the hard labor, she is perfectly healthy. The doctor has assured us that the hemotoma will disappear, but it will take a minimum of 6 weeks.

Below is a photo of the wee one:



Go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/fiercetigress/ to see many more photos of her. Naturally, additional photos are being uploaded several times a week. I used to roll my eyes at new parents who would take photos of every little quirk or movement of their child, but now that we are new parents, here we are, taking photos of her almost daily. Here's a photos of her pouting mouth; here's a photos of her sucking her thumb; here's a photo of her....and so on.

Oh, and her name? We haven't registered it for her birth certificate yet, but we have decided to name her Mehsharan. For those not familiar with Sikh practices, a baby's name is not chosen before birth, or even immediately after birth (unless the family lives in a Western country where they have no choice but to choose a name right away). After X number of days after the birth of the baby--usually determined by tradition and elders in the family--the family takes the mother and baby to a gurudwara. There they request the granthi (Sikh priest) to do Ardas (prayers) and to read a passage from the Sikh holy book, the Guru Granth Sahib. After reading the passage, the first letter of the first word in the passage is used as the first letter in the baby's name. We were told the earliest we could take Mehsharan to the gurudwara was on her 11th day. Eager to give her a name, I insisted we go on that day, which happened to fall on Guru Har Rai's birthday. We went to Guru Amb Sahib, which is a historical gurudwara in Mohali, and had the granthi do ardas and such. The passage he read started with an "M," so we checked out name combinations and came up with Mehsharan I had mentioned that Sharan is very similar to Sharon, a biblical name, and would work well in both cultures, so after my husband listed several possibilities, I though Mehsharan was the best choice to work on both sides of the ocean and in both Punjabi and English.

Unfortunately, my in-laws--most especially my father-in-law--dislikes the name and is trying to force us to change it. There have been some bitter fights over this issue. Oh, not between me and them--I'm trying to stay out of the fights as much as possible--but between my husband and his father. We're planning to register her name and obtain her birth certificate tomorrow to end the fights (meaning: Her name is official now, sorry dad!) That will close the chapter on this issue for good, regardless of complaints.

Yesterday I discovered a very odd Indian custom regarding newborn babies. There are people from the lower castes who go around inquiring into who has had a newborn child, then they go to that house and demand money. The amount and who it is depends on whether it's a boy or a girl. When a boy is born, local hijras (eunuchs who dress up as women) will bang on your door and demand as much as 5,000 or 6,000 rupees. That's as much as our monthly rent! I think I heard they will sing to give good luck to the boy or something like that, but of course the real aim is to obtain the money. If the baby is a girl, some low-caste people will show up and demand some money. Yesterday an elderly lady banged on our door and demanded shagun (money) for the birth of our little girl. The lady only got 30 rupees out of it. Imagine if we had a boy! I wonder where this very strange custom originated.

Now that we have internet connection, I'll try to post more often, but of course with Mehsharan in the picture, plus 3-4 hours of power cuts daily, time will be hard to come by. In the least, I'll try to post photos.

As an up-front American, there is one thing that drives me nuts in India: Indians don't like to say the word "no."

Since my husband is an independent consultant, and as a curious wife I ask him about his work all the time, I've become closely familiar with this pattern. However, this happens in all aspects of life.

Instead of just saying outright, "No, we're not interested," "No, we cannot," or just plain, "No," often in India people will instead put you off. First there may be a lukewarm positive with a promise to get back to you later, then there will be some excuse for not having an answer (such as an illness n the family), then they won't answer your phone call. Eventually, you just figure out that the answer is "no," or if you pester them long enough, you force them to admit their answer is "no." But by then you've usually figured it out anyway.

I realize that in some situations this also happens in the U.S., however it's far more prevalent in India. People just don't like to say "no." I don't know if it's out a desire to avoid disappointing you, or if there is some other reason, but this put-you-off-until-you-give-up is very common.

Oy!

I think I've mentioned in a post during my travels last year that India has literally thousands of stray dogs. There are dogs wandering wherever you go, even more than cows.

One thing that's apparent in a short period is the different manner that Indians treat stray dogs compared with "home" in the U.S. Granted, I do realize that you must be cautious, as the dogs are not vaccinated, and until you become somewhat familiar with an individual, you may not know for sure if it's friendly or not. But some of the dogs are visibly friendly and don't harm a fly, yet I see many here throwing rocks or threatening to hit them all the same. Many of the dogs are starved or half-starved and live miserable lives. It may sound horrible, but I think some of these dogs would be better off euthanized than living the miserable lives they do.

It appears to be "puppy season" these days, as I see puppies on the streets everywhere. Perhaps the females here tend to come into heat at a particular time so they raise their pups when it's cooler. That's my theory, anyways. There is a litter of 4 or 5 puppies residing on the ground floor outside the internet cafe where I'm posting, and I always say hi and pet them on my way in and out. I'm always tempted to adopt one of these puppies, but in our current situation, it's just not possible to keep a dog. In addition, my husband and I disagree on how a dog should be kept. My husband likes dogs, but feels that they "smell bad," (a common Indian complaint). Like many Indians, at least here in North India, many people keep their pet dogs out in their courtyards or balconies and don't allow them inside their house, considering them too "dirty" to be inside. Alternatively, they may allow the dog into only one particular room in the house/flat, but not other rooms. I've made it clear that our family always keeps our dogs inside the house and allows them anywhere, and I will not keep a dog any other way. If the dog begins to smell bad, we can bathe it. We'll see who wins this argument in the future.

I have recently befriended a black-and-tan female dog that lives in the park next to our colony. I try to walk there as close to every day as I can, per doctor's orders. I had seen this dog in the front area of the park since we moved in, and it appears to be "her" territory. The only time I saw other dogs there was when she was in heat. I started talking to her while passing her, and a week or two ago she approached me with a wagging tail, so I let her sniff my hand, then pet her head. She's been my friend every since, although sometimes she does get over-eager and attempt to jump on me in excitement, so I watch for that as she approaches. It saddens me when I see a local Sikh laborer who has been hanging out in the park throw rocks at her. If I spoke Punjabi, I would be tempted to tell him how cruel it is and try to explain that this friendly dog is keeping other dogs (who may not be so friendly) out of the park. But I'm sure it would be in vain. Most people here simply don't care.

Sigh.

Wow, I can hardly believe it's already 6 weeks since my last post. We still have not been able to restore our internet connection at home due to various reasons, and my time at the internet cafe always gets used up reading and replying to e-mails. I did write some weblog posts on my personal computer, but have been leery about transferring it via my thumb drive, as the last time I plugged my thumb drive into a computer at the cafe, it contracted 60+ viruses. )-: I'm praying that our internet connection will be restored before I give birth so that I can make some regular posts before I become crazily busy with the baby and cranky from lack of sleep. That will also make it easier to post baby photos, for those who are interested. (-: My official "due date" is January 27th, 2008.

Photos my husband took from the car during a monsoon rain. To see the images in their full size, click on the photo to go to the Flickr site, then just above the photo click on the link "All Sizes."

One pastime that many U.S. women enjoy is to view houses we know we will never afford. I recall a few times driving with friends down Kenwood Drive, the posh neighborhood in Minneapolis, to gawk at the mansions along the road. This wooded area is dotted with huge houses of varying designs. It’s plain they have each been constructed according to their owners’ tastes. One in particular I remember is a big stone-and-brick mansion resembling a small castle. It even had a few parapets on corners of the property. I would be curious to see if the owner’s fondness for European castles is reflected in the interior decor as well.

Last Sunday I had an opportunity to view the launch of an upcoming planned posh neighborhood in Chandigarh, thanks to my husband’s real estate connections. The launch also came with free catered food, so naturally I could not turn it down.

While this gated neighborhood will not have mansions like there are in the U.S., the flats and 15 “villas”--independent three-story Indian houses--are luxurious by Indian standards. An example 5-bedroom flat was open for viewing to the attendees, and despite everything being confined to one story, the rooms are spacious even by American standards. Before entering the actual flat, first you walk into a public lounge area which will be included in each of the buildings housing the flats. The flooring of the lounge and the main rooms in the flat consist of imported Italian marble. Evidently, Indian marble was not good enough for these flats, except as kitchen and bathroom countertops. Each of the rooms of the flat include not only plenty of space for furniture, but also additional space, compared to the cramped rooms in most Indian flats that just have enough room for furniture and squeeze-between walking space.

The dining room is large enough to house a table for a family of 14, with a wide floor area between it and the kitchen. The kitchen has Western-style cabinets, an island countertop, and even an oven. The oven is not like any I’ve ever seen, so I’m not sure if it’s a European-style oven or a lower-quality Indian oven, but it’s an oven, which is more than what 90+% of Indians have. To top it off, it also has a built-in stove, so the family is not forced to purchase a common second-rate portable stoves. This might not sound like much hoo-ha to an American, but in India, this is luxurious.

The master bedroom, naturally, is the most spacious, and the attached bathroom even has a jacuzzi tub. I’m not thinking much of jacuzzis nowadays, but perhaps come January it will be welcome.

The only room in the entire flat that was not spacious was the servant’s room. Resembling a cubbyhole and missing even a ceiling fan, it yells the message that the tenant is not on the same social plane as his/her masters of the house. The flooring was a plain white tile, the walls white, and a door was left open to the outdoors for air circulation.

Apparently the crowning glory of the entire neighborhood is a “work of art” inside the main entrance area. The organizers of the event announced that the “inspiration” for this art was the Egyptian pyramids. It’s basically an air conditioned glass pyramid with a model of the neighborhood on the inside. Honestly, when I first saw it, I thought it was intended as a greenhouse for lovely flowers. They consider this art of such importance that photography is forbidden. I’m at a loss as to why. You’re not even missing much by the absence of a photo. Just imagine a greenhouse in the shape of a pyramid, and you’ve pretty much got it. This cannot be the first work of art in the world “inspired by” the Egyptian pyramids, either. I’ve seen what I consider much better and original art shown publicly in Minneapolis and Chicago, and the public is free to photograph them to their hearts’ content. And to show that one is free to photograph publicly displayed art in the U.S., I’ve attached below a photo of a statue installed on Washington Avenue only a couple of years ago, apparently created by some famous artist whose name I don’t recall. This statue fascinated me because the figures are anatomically correct, although you cannot view it in this photo, as it wouldn’t suit the weblog.



And what is the cost of these luxurious homes? A villa, the most expensive of the options, is roughly 1.5 million U.S. dollars. Oof! The houses are luxurious, but for that money, I’d like some land to accompany it, enough land to house a few horses. I also felt the interior of the example flat to be a bit too modern for my taste, but they did say you can decorate it to your taste. There’s no changing the paint or the wallpaper, though.

I did note from the organizer’s talk that these homes will be marketed most heavily to Non-Resident Indians, or NRI’s, as they are commonly called. Emigrated Indians and their children have found more wealth overseas than most privileged homegrown Indians. The modern architecture and appliances would also suggest a way to allure Indians back to their “home country” without having to lose any of the luxuries of their adopted countries, so common in the West and uncommon in India.

One of these days, I hope to view one of the “mansions” shown on all of the Indian soaps and movies that I have yet to spot even from the outdoors.

Enjoy bringing along a good hot-based lunch to work? Well, India has developed the perfect lunchbox for such a thing--probably because most Indians will eat only hot meals. No cold sandwiches for them!

We've recently acquired a small-sized lunchbox for the two of us. I thought it was nifty, so I took some photos of it (below). Food is placed in the 3 steel containers, which are stacked as shown in the top photo, and placed in a holder. You then put the holder inside a plastic container that resembles a large thermos, twist the top closed, and muala! A lunchbox!

Tuesday of this week was Raksha Bandhan, an Indian holiday that celebrates the love between brothers and sisters. Sisters take a band, called a Rakhi, and ties it onto their brother's wrist. The act of tying the Rakhi is also a bond signifying that a brother's duty is to protect his sister. Female cousins also sometimes tie Rakhis on male cousins' wrists, and sometimes non-relative women many tie a Rakhi on a man, supposedly as a way to ask for protection and a brother-like bond. However, there may be other reasons a lady may wish to tie a Rakhi on a man.

If the brother and sister are adults and married, the sister may travel to the brother's home, typically bringing sweets, to tie the Rakhi on his wrist. She will also tie a Rakhi on her brother's wife's wrist. In return, the brother will give her money as a token. I think the amount may depend on the individuals involved, but generally it's meant as a token, and therefore not a large amount (for instance, 200 rupees).

Yesterday, my husband's sister came with her family to our flat to tie a Rakhi on us. Two of our maids, daughters of the lady we had hired and who usually come to help with the cooking, also brought a Rakhi to tie on my husband. I will leave the guessing up to you as to why they wished to do this. Right after tying the Rakhi, his sister gave each of us a sweet from the box she had brought along. I'm discovering that almost every Indian ceremony involves the exchange of sweets.

Below are photos of the Rakhis tied to our wrists. They are quite decorative.

Even in my teenage years, I was never a big fan of daytime soap operas. In fact, I hated them. Watching characters whose lives revolved around personal Armageddons made my stomach churn from the distaste. I cannot even give specific examples, as 2 minutes of watching a daytime soap made me run away before I could even catch char-acters’ names, or even the name of the soap for that matter. Listening to friends gossip about the soaps as though they were gossiping about neighbors left my pupils stuck in my upper eye sockets.

I never thought I’d find any TV shows that could be worse, until the day of the Reality Shows came. Now there was not only the melodrama of the Soaps, but they are under the guise of “Real Life.” Except they are not truly real life. I mean, have you ever seen a group of friends travel to Africa to play a concocted game making them swim through crocodile-infested waters and eat maggots?

I thought I could never find something more melodramatic that this. Until I came to India.

The concept of reality shows is only just starting in India, so there is little in Reality life to compare with the West, except for maybe a couple such as Indian Idol and Biggest Loser. But the soap operas are well-established.

So, what makes Indian soap operas more melodramatic than American? Let me de-scribe a typical soap [melo]drama. Since I don’t know Hindi, the visuals alone will suf-fice. But you don’t need more than that.

An rich family with an unusually large and opulent house is having a serious discussion in their living room (I think called a sitting room in India). Judging by the faces on the characters and the way the [w]itchy woman with the twisted face is speaking, she has schemed the others. Then, suddenly, she says something shocking.

How do I know it was shocking? After all, I don’t know Hindi.

The soap drama directors love to use their video cameras. Creatively.

The moment Scheming Woman shocks the other characters: SWOOSH! Within a nanosecond, the camera zooms in on her face. SWOOSH! The camera zooms in on her opponent’s face. Swish-SWOOSH! Now it zooms in on her shocked mother, first in high-speed, then down to slow-motion, so we can get a good, long look at Mom’s stricken face. Swooshy-swish-SWOOSH! Several times the camera zooms in again on Scheming Woman’s face. Then quickly it zooms in on the other family members’ faces, alternately fast and slow. And each of these swoosh-es is accompanies by a dramatic swooshy sound.

I’m not exaggerating. There must be well over 100 Swooshes in each episode of these soaps.

If you’re wondering how I know these soaps so well, let’s just say some of my new fam-ily members love these soaps, so when there’s a visitation, I cannot escape them. And in India, both men and women love these soaps equally. They are not only a woman’s pastime.

And here I thought that I would escape all this in coming to India.

I have been away from the internet these past 2+ weeks due to two annoying issues:

1) Our internet connection and landline has been disconnected due to a billing dispute.

2) Our nightmare marriage registration. I will write about this later after these two items have been resolved.

For the moment, I'm on the internet only intermittently with little time. As it is, the computer i'm using right now at this nearby internet cafe has a really crappy keyboard, and if i don't stop soon, i will bust it to pieces.

As most people reading my weblog has heard, the 35W bridge in Minneapolis (a major freeway bridge) collapsed Wednesday night. I cannot really add much to the story except my initial reaction after first hearing about it on CNN, which was something like: "The 35W bridge collapsed?? OH! MY! GOD!!"

Below is a photo of the collapsed bridge:



Below is a photo of the Mississippi River taken from the Guthrie Theater. Two bridges are in view; the 35W bridge is the one with the steel supports: